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Each scar is because of you.
You're the one to make my blood bloom.
The empty pain I feel inside,
foreshadows my deep demise.
I'm sick of crying,
I'm sorry for trying.
I should have ended when I was born,
then maybe no heart would be torn.
I wish my breath did not start,
and maybe even my heart.
Growing up is the hard part,
I really didn't want to start.
I wish it was easy to say goodbye,
so then maybe I could die.
2/24/12
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:iconwinterkate:
winterkate Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2012  Student Writer
Hmm... the rhyme scheme starts halfway in, which is confusing and makes it look like you only just got into the swing of things. It could use a little more original, unorthodox imagery, but the sentiment is solid.
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:iconpoison2007:
Poison2007 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Very powerful and beautifully written. Wow.

I've run out of works to say now, dayum.
Reply
:iconemilyisinvisible:
EmilyisInvisible Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2012  Student Writer
Wow, this is amazing!
Reply
:iconenlightenu:
EnlightenU Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm not into moody poetry, but this is pretty good for free verse.
Reply
:iconsolemnadvertence:
SolemnAdvertence Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
yeah, i agree~
btw~
i like the way you put your feelings on the verse~
very good~
Reply
:iconlettherebeapples:
LetThereBeApples Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is very good. I honestly never remember seeing someone rhyme goodbye and die. Sounds great though,
Reply
:iconsilentsalvation:
SilentSalvation Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2012  Student General Artist
aw thank you.
Reply
:iconernest-art:
ernest-art Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
:wow:

this is my feeling right now :(

welldone :clap:
Reply
:iconfireblazescorch:
FireBlazeScorch Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Student General Artist
Oh wow, I really felt the emotion in the piece
And there were a few things I could connect to my self (which in my point of view is a really touching thing you wrote)
Great job and keep it up : )
Reply
:iconroamingtigress:
roamingtigress Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012
Powerful work. Once again, well written!
Reply
:iconsilentsalvation:
SilentSalvation Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012  Student General Artist
Thank you!! :iconbrohugplz:
Reply
:iconroamingtigress:
roamingtigress Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2012
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconsurrendered-hero:
Surrendered-Hero Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I love this!
It reminds me of exactly what my character goes through after the death of her boyfriend, who did indeed give her many scars.
This is getting faved. :D
Reply
:iconsilentsalvation:
SilentSalvation Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Student General Artist
Thank you <3
Reply
:iconsurrendered-hero:
Surrendered-Hero Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome.
Wanna read the story I'm talking about? (Which happens to be just as dark and lovely)
Follow the first link in my signature. :D
Reply
:iconsilentsalvation:
SilentSalvation Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Student General Artist
I really liked it. I didn't finish it yet, but I will. It's great so far. This does remind me of your story. :D
Reply
:iconsurrendered-hero:
Surrendered-Hero Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for reading!
I'm glad you like it.
I'm still trying to work on chapter 8, but I'm suffering from a small writer's block, since I have to write in a scene that remained un-described in the original text.
There's also going to be two more novels related to PWF, a prequel called Escape and a sequel called Flashbulb. I hope to finish all of the novels fairly soon, depending on how my summer classes go once I start college.
Reply
:iconvivisanop:
vivisanop Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Student Writer
This is so sad... Moving, wonderful, but sad. Keep writing like this; it's a beautiful piece.
Reply
:iconsilentsalvation:
SilentSalvation Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Student General Artist
That really means a lot. Thank you.
Reply
:iconvivisanop:
vivisanop Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2012  Student Writer
No problem.
Reply
:icontokiofalloutgirl:
tokiofalloutgirl Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012  Student Writer
I love this.
Every word about it.
I love it all.
Such a perfect poem.
Nice job!
Reply
:iconsilentsalvation:
SilentSalvation Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012  Student General Artist
:iconawwwplz: <3333
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:icontokiofalloutgirl:
tokiofalloutgirl Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012  Student Writer
You're welcome! (:
Reply
:iconbdaycrazy:
bdaycrazy Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012
I like it a lot. The rhythms were mismatched, but it just added more to the poem. I don't know if it's just me but I kind of see a parallelism with the book of Job in the bible.
Reply
:iconyosibunn:
yosibunn Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So beautiful >3<
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:iconsilentsalvation:
SilentSalvation Featured By Owner Feb 29, 2012  Student General Artist
:aww: thank you<3
Reply
:iconroamingtigress:
roamingtigress Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
Very powerful. You have a way with words!
Reply
:iconsilentsalvation:
SilentSalvation Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Student General Artist
:iconawwwplz: thank you soooo much :glomp:
Reply
:iconroamingtigress:
roamingtigress Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012
You're welcome :)
Reply
:iconmalikvamp:
malikvamp Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
Beautifully written.
Reply
:iconsilentsalvation:
SilentSalvation Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Student General Artist
:iconcuteblushplz: thank you
Reply
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